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Know your rights

I recently read Gael Lindenfield's Book "Assert yourself" which included what I thought was an interesting list of what she calls Assertive rights.  Having read the list it struck me how much happier and fulfilled we would all be if we wholeheartedly accepted these rights both for ourselves and those around us, so I thought I would share them with you.

1.  The right to ask for what we want (realizing that the other person has the right to say "no").

2.  The right to have an opinion, feelings and emotions and to express them appropriately.

3.  The right to make statements which have no logical basis and which do not have to justify (e.g. intuitive ideas and comments).

4.  The right to make our own decisions and to cope with the consequences.

5.  The right to choose whether or not to get involved in the problems of someone else.

6.  The right to know about something and not to understand.

7.  The right to make mistakes.

8.  The right to be successful.

9.  The right to change our mind.

10.  The right to privacy.

11. The right to be alone and independent.

12.  The right to change ourselves and be assertive people.

Most people have little difficulty accepting these rights for others but many show by their behaviour and life-style that they are unable to accept these rights for themselves.  For example, I am willing to bet that most of you are far more tolerant of other people's mistakes that you are of your own, making excuses for others such as "they are young, they didn't know any better" or  "they are going through a difficult time" whilst at the same time telling yourself "I should have known better" or "I am so stupid, I never should have done that".

This week I would like you to take some time to read the list again slowly out loud and see which of the rights you feel some resistance to.  Which do you read and think "gosh, if only that was true, I would ..." Which would you like to believe about your life going forward?

The truth is that these are basic human rights and you deserve to have them respected as much as the next person.  My challenge to you this week is to notice which of these rights you find it hard to accept and write down how abusing this right is stopping you from getting what you want from your life.  For the next few days notice your behaviour and that of those around you in relation to this right.  Imagine how different your life would be if this right was being respected.

Now chose a goal in relation to this right and during the next week take steps to achieve this goal.

Only once you learn to assert these rights for yourself will you truly get what you want out of your life.

To find out how I can help you to be more assertive contact me now.

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"Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not; it is the first lesson that ought to be learned; and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly".

Thomas H. Huxley